Rule No. 53: Any place that isn’t New York, Boston, Los Angeles or San Francisco qualifies as “the heartland.”
Police Blotter of the Day: Suspect says that’s not my pot — it was already in the car when I stole it
LIVERMORE FALLS — Police said a Jay man was adamant that the marijuana police found in the car he was driving was not his because he had just stolen the car.
Full story (Franklin, Maine, Sun Journal)
Topless thong-clad woman vandalizes Pinellas Park McDonald’s
A Pinellas Park woman shown topless and wearing a thong as she vandalizes a Pinellas Park McDonald’s was arrested for criminal mischief.
Full story (WFLA-TV)
Rule No. 52: All suburbs are “leafy.” They always have “well-manicured lawns.”
Rule No. 51: When we describe something as “cutting edge,” we mean we don’t know how it works.
NAPLES, Uintah County — A Uintah County woman is accused of trying to set fire to her ex-boyfriend’s home with a pound of bacon left burning on a gas stove.
And here’s the best part:
Cameo Adawn Crispi, 31, was charged Wednesday in 8th District Court with arson, a third-degree felony.
Yes. Crispi. According to police, it was a Crispi bacon attack.
Full story (KSL-TV of Salt Lake City)